


Teddy Versus

by tigersilver



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, EWE, Established Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, POV Teddy Lupin, References to past child abuse (Harry Potter), Sibling Rivalry, This is actually humour, references to past miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-07-28 06:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20059600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigersilver/pseuds/tigersilver
Summary: Harry and Draco, a young couple in an established relationship, discover they are going to be parents themselves and must break the news to five year old Teddy, their shared adoptive son. Teddy isn't best pleased.





	Teddy Versus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TommyVelvet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TommyVelvet/gifts).

> Written for the Trope "Kid!fic" for the 2019 H/D Tropes Exchange Fest
> 
> TommyVelvet, I hope I managed to make you smile; that was my duty and it was an honour to fulfill it. All my sincere thanks to the wonderful Mods, who were kind enough to wade through my original behemoth and provide me excellent guidance. All my love to my longtime beta, Lonerofthepack, without whom this wouldn't have been possible. All my best regards to the wonderful writers and artists in the HP Fandom, who have sustained me for ever so long. Your works are shining and inspirational; the world is richer for having you all in it. Finally, all my admiration and accolades to AO3 and the wonderful people who provide us fans this safe refuge to explore and enjoy our creativity.

**Match #1 Draco Versus Teddy**

"Harry, he's not going to take this well."

Draco flipped a few stray blond hairs out of his eyes and frowned over the magicked up Muggle waffle iron he was minding. It steamed gently, fragrant with scents of berries and golden syrup. Five year old Teddy loved waffles, especially creature-shaped waffles, and Harry and Draco loved Teddy, so. On Teddy Weekends waffles were the staple of the Potter-Malfoy breakfast table. Owl-shaped waffles and Kneazle-shaped waffles and snake-shaped waffles, naturally. The odd Giant Squid-shape or cockatrice. But mostly dragon-shaped waffles, as Teddy thought dragons were aces. Horntails, especially. With berries for eyeballs. After years of practice Draco had become a dab hand at coaxing the waffle iron into producing the perfect golden-brown Horntail and Harry was happy enough to leave him to it. 

"He's only just five and, other than the Weasley brood, he's really not had much interaction with other children. Victoire, yes, but she's terribly sensible. Molly Junior—ugh, terrible name; really, why would Percy even?—but especially infants, Harry—oh, don't make that face at me. You know it's true."

"Yes, alright," his husband admitted, staring somewhat forlornly at his morning cuppa. It was warmed ginger water, actually, and not at all what Harry really wished to ingest to bolster up his energy level on Teddy Weekend mornings but Healer Chang had been very insistent he cut back on his intake of caffeinated beverages. "I know it's as you say, you're absolutely right, as always; he's going to be jealous and cranky and a total snot over it, but what are we going to do about it? We have to tell him, love." 

"Maybe if we just break it to him gently?" Draco suggested, opening up the waffle maker and popping out a perfect, golden-brown, deliciously berry-scented Horntail waffle onto a plate with his wand. "He wasn't always this way. You recall how much he loved the Muggle playground we took him to last autumn?"

With a flick of his wand, he wafted the plated waffle over to where Harry was seated and immediately turned his back to pour another. Not at all noticing his beloved was swaying slightly in his seat and going wan as a peeled Flobberworm.

"Gah," Harry said weakly, batting vaguely at the noxious fumes of blueberries and freshly cooked batter. "Nah. Ngh!" 

"I mean, he's not always been this way, Harry. He was quite the social child—at least till little Dominique was born. In any event, we must do something. He's due with Aunt Andy any moment." 

He spun about, expecting to see his newly pregnant spouse devouring that perfect waffle. (Teddy not being the only one who loved waffles in the Potter-Malfoy household.) He was greeted instead by a greenish-grey skinned, gagging, hollow-eyed Dementor, who'd risen to his feet and had a hand slapped over his mouth, choking, his red-veined eyes bulging behind their specs. 

"Harry? Harry!" 

"Blauuuurrghh!" Harry whinnied and bolted from the room, just as the Floo expelled the familiar figures of Draco's auntie and his little cousin.

"Dwaco, Dwraco! Is that waffles?" 

"Oh my Merlin," Draco said to no one in particular, blinking at the space where Harry had been. "Oh, hullo, Aunt Andy, Teddy. You're just in time for a waffle, yes."

"Good morning, Draco," Andromeda sang out cheerily, casting an all encompassing glance about their homey kitchen and nodding approvingly, just as she always did. "Was that blur I just saw passing through to the loo our Harry?" 

"Cousin Dwaco! Cousin Dwaco!" Teddy shouted, pushing past his grandmother and making a beeline for Draco's knees. He threw his arms about them and squeezed as tight as he could. "I missed you! I missed you sooooo much! D'you know how much?" he demanded, nearly tripping his elder cousin straight into the rubbish bin as he abruptly let go and capered about underfoot, his little face tipped up appealingly. "So, so, so, so! This, this, this!" he chanted. He spread his little arms as wide as they went. "Thissssss much, Cousin Dwaco! Where's Harreee? Where is he, where is he? I wanna see him! I want to see him right now! I missed him too!"

"Merlin, Teddy." Draco grinned, hastily clutching at the counter top. "Such enthusiasm!" 

"Now, Teddy," Andromeda intervened, stepping in to forestall further horseplay on the part of her excited grandchild. "We must use our Small Voice when we're inside people's homes, even our own homes, remember? It's not kind to shout at people, especially the people you care for."

"Okay!" Teddy agreed brightly, accepting her guiding hand on his little shoulder as she shooed him toward the clean-scrubbed, unfinished oaken table. There was placed out a butter dish and Molly's own recipe preserves, along with pitchers of juice and milk. He accepted the little mug Andromeda handed him and sat his small bum on the one chair with a cushion. "But where's he gone? Where's Harry, Cousin Dwaco?" He pursed his little lips, frowning as his shock of hair went Harry-coloured and his eyes flashed green. He opened them very wide at Draco, who'd turned away from the Aga for a moment. "I thought I saw him."

"Oh!" Draco flushed and then collected himself, hastily spinning back round and just managing to rescue the second Horntail waffle from a fiery death. "You did, yes, but he's—he's—well, Teddy, he's not feeling so well at the moment, I'm afraid. Quite poorly, really. He's in our bedroom lav now, most likely, and will be out when he's able. But, first things first, yes? Here you are, little man," he added, sending the second waffle in an airy, graceful loop over to the table. "Eat up; it's your favourite breakfast." 

"Harry's sick?" Teddy exclaimed, snatching his waffle out of the air and right off the second-best plate. "He's never sick." He tore into it, disdaining any sort of topping and happily squishing the warm berries between his fingers. "How sick? Is he going to die? A lot of people die; Granny Andy told me so." Matter-of-factly he stared at his elder cousin, who paled dramatically and dropped his jaw, appalled. "Didn't you, Granny Andy?" Teddy peeped over at his grandmother, who had stayed by the kitchen doorway, observing quietly but with one eyebrow arched high. "No, you did. I 'member it." 

"N-No! Never say that, Teddy," Draco protested weakly, crossing over to the table and sinking into one of the spindle-backed chairs. He stared intently at Teddy and spoke slowly, as if he was having trouble finding his words. "Harry's perfectly healthy; at least, he would be, but—" 

"Goodness, Theodore!" Andromeda scolded. "Your manners!" She bustled to the table, flourishing a serviette onto his lap and pushing his mug closer. "Just because people are sick doesn't mean they're dying! Now, chew with your mouth closed, please, and put the rest of that back on your plate while you're doing so. Here, have your milk with that. And give Draco a chance to even tell you, dear."

She looked meaningfully at her nephew, who blinked. He summoned a tenuous smile and courageously faced his little cousin. The self-same cousin who, just the week prior, had announced that he despised babies and all baby things and especially that awful nasty Rosie.

"You do have something to tell Teddy, don't you, Draco?" Andromeda prodded meaningfully. "About why Harry feels sick right now, isn't it? Well, I'll just be off now; leave you two boys in peace to talk and eat your breakfast. Ta, now! See you Monday, darling," she added, having paused to give her grandson a brief but very affectionate hug. "Be good for Harry, Teddy. Remember he's not feeling well, will you?" 

"But, Aunt Andy, no!" Draco jumped up and started forward in a vain effort to stay her. "You can't just leave like this! Harry's likely passed out cold in the loo and I simply cannot be in two places at one time! Can I?" 

"Oh, now," Andromeda twinkled, flinging her scarf about her shoulders all the same and deftly dodging Draco's outstretched hand as she blew him a kiss. "That's a skill every new parent has to learn by themselves, sorry. And learn they must do—or perish," she added drolly. "Ta, now. Have a lovely weekend!" 

"Cousin Dwaco?" Teddy piped up, having polished of his waffle and started on Harry's abandoned one. "Are you sick too? You look sick. Greeny, like Uncle Neville's toad. Don't be ill, alright? Cause it'll be boring if you are; there'll be no one to play with me." 

"Don't fret, Ted," Draco reassured him, returning to the table to sit and absentmindedly taking up his husband's cuppa to sip. "I'll still play with you. And your godfather's not sick, he's just going to be having a baby. Sometimes that causes a tummy upset, you see, and—" 

"A BABY!" Teddy howled, rising straight out his chair as if he'd been Leviosa'd. "You never said a BABY! NO, no, no, no, no, no, no—"

"Teddy! Pipe down, please. Harry's likely napping by now; you'll wake him!" 

"I. Hate. Babies," Teddy announced, same as he'd announced it at Rose Weasley's first public airing: grandly and with fervour. "They stink and they cry and they want everybody to look at them and play with _ them _all the time, Cousin Dwaco—and never anybody else, like ME! No!" He stamped his little foot, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly at Draco and flinging his hands up in the air because he was so, so twitchy-fidgety. "That's stupid! I won't have it, Cousin Dwaco! Not in my room, not anywhere near me! You tell Harry to put it back! We don't want it here! No, no, no!" 

"But, but, Teddy, I can't possibly do that," Draco said, bewildered. He stood, reaching out to the quivering little boy, who danced backward, just out of reach. "Harry and I want the baby, don't you see? The baby will be welcome here, at home with us, just as you are—"

"NOOOO! I hate you!" Teddy stormed and ran to the door. He stopped and stared back at Draco, giving him a death glare through eyelashes damp with ready tears. "Harry, too! I hate both of you, bringing one of those—those mess-balls into my house! Leave me alone, you dirty rotten stinker!" 

"Wait—no—Teddy?" Draco called out but the slamming of Teddy's bedroom door resounded through the flat. Draco sighed, poking at the remainders of his lovely, special Teddy Weekend breakfast, and laughed ruefully. "Huh. That went well. Didn't it though." 

**Match #2 Hermione Versus Teddy**

"And do you know _ why _I hate babies, Auntie Herminny?" Teddy asked of his courtesy auntie guilelessly. "It's 'cause they stink. And they take your stuff. And break it. And that makes them crime-nows, like the sort Harry catches at his work. Dirty stealers, is what they are—babies."

"Are they now, Teddy?" Hermione replied, busily diapering up a baby Rosie. "And who told you this, exactly?" 

"Nobody had to tell me," Teddy scoffed, visibly displeased for being doubted. "I just know it. Victoire doesn't like hers, anyway. She says Dom's a lavette. That means she's lazy and stupid. Which she is, Aunt Herminny; she just lays there all the time and doesn't play or anything!" 

"And this bothers you how, exactly?" Hermione asked, expertly swishing her wand to tuck little Rosie into a singlet and sleeper. "I shouldn't think you and Victoire would mind if Cousin Dominique is sleeping. Babies sleep a lot, you know. It's how they grow and get bigger." 

"No," Teddy insisted, setting his small chin firmly. "Auntie Fleur doesn't play with us now. Stupid, stinky Dom is always crying—we can't even visit the sea! I hate her and I never want to see any more stupid babies in my life!" 

"Well," Hermione sat back, cuddling Rosie against her chest as the little one nodded gently off, "that may prove a problem, Teddy. You see, Harry and Draco are expecting now and pretty soon you'll have a baby of your own to call a French dishclout. You may want to reconsider." 

"WHAT?!" Teddy shrieked, leaping up from his desultory game of solitaire Gobstones and setting Rosie instantly off to wailing like a banshee. "NO! No, no, no—I hate you, Auntie Herminny—I hate all of you! I won't have it—I won't have a baby anywhere near me! So there! Just leave me alone—all of you!"

"But, Teddy, wait!" 

Too late. The door slammed behind him, good and hard. The sound of stomping footsteps running up the stairs to the third floor playroom she and Ron had arranged in their little house ages ago, when both Vicky and Teddy were but babies themselves, reassured her. Even the thump-thump noises of plush toys being forcefully lobbed about by a very angry little boy was better than the horrendous bouts of wailing-and-gnashing of teeth Draco had told of. And at least she wouldn't have to go chasing Teddy around the garden—or Floo poor Harry or Draco to come pick him up. 

Hermione sighed and went about calming her very fussy daughter, shaking her head ruefully over the whole situation. 

She supposed it was a bit understandable, given that little Teddy had only ever had Victoire to play with and not been introduced to terribly young infants until quite recently. He was likely jealous, and maybe also a bit spoilt, having been the centre of attention for both Draco and Harry for so long now. It certainly didn't help matters that Harry had been ill with morning sickness since nearly day one or that Draco had been an only child, and was thus completely unaccustomed to all the histrionics that went on between siblings. Or that Draco was walking about an utter mess, worrying constantly over Harry. 

As for poor Harry, he simply chundered and chundered, and not even all the old wive's remedies could cure him. As all the elder witches had sighed and ultimately agreed, even Madame Pomfrey when consulted, there was nothing more to be done for Harry than to feed him weak ginger tea, endless bland biscuits, the occasional Pepper-Up Potion and…wait it out. Such, Hermione knew now, were the trials of the first trimester.

In the meanwhile, little Teddy wasn't faring well. His Granny Andromeda was with him for the larger part of the week, but Teddy was very much used to spending rather a lot of his time with Harry and Draco. Teddy Weekends were far more often Teddy Weeks, and that had been a brilliant solution for all of them, really. Andromeda had had all the peace and quiet she desired, when she desired, and Harry and Draco had been free to indulge in the full excesses of their secretly nurturing natures. Indeed, they'd essentially been fathers to Teddy, and whilst that was delightful, it was certainly proving a Billywig in the ointment at this point.

She shook her head again, rocking Rosie gently, and had a little chuckle. It wasn't as if she'd not been an only child, just like Draco, but there were books on raising children, weren't there? And it wasn't as if she couldn't master a subject just by reading.

Making a mental note to Owl over some the various tomes she'd diligently collected on child-rearing, including the very helpful Muggle ones, she set Rosie gently into her crib and made her way carefully through the door and out into the hall. A carefully cocked ear up the stairwell was answered with nothing but blissful silence, at last. Little Teddy had ceased his sobbing and was likely asleep in a pile of abused plushy toys. 

**Match #3 Arthur Weasley Versus Teddy**

"Young man," Grandda Arthur addressed Teddy seriously, "it's come to my attention you're a bit naffy about babies. Tell me, is this true?" 

"Hate 'em," Teddy replied absently, puttering about with the Muggle fishing reel his courtesy grandfather had given him to untangle. "Nasty creatures." 

"Well," Grandda Arthur said slowly, "are you going to hate Harry and Draco when they have theirs, then? Because I really think you shouldn't, Ted. Hate's a very bad thing to feel." 

"Nope," Teddy replied cheerily. "I'm going to give Kreacher the baby and order him to take it far, far away. Then it won't be in my house and it won't bother me. Grandda, what should I do with this thing anyway?" 

"Oh!" Arthur blinked rapidly, seriously taken aback by Teddy's plans to off Harry and Draco's much anticipated sprog. "Just wind it up, Ted; there's my lad. You know? Taking someone's baby away is a very, very bad thing to do to them. That's what your godfather would call 'criminal'." 

"So what?" Teddy shrugged, busily winding the strange transparent string round the spinning reel. "Harry would never put me in gaol; he loves me. Besides, I'm not a crime-nall, Grandda. I'll just put the baby on the stoop in a basket. Somebody will come and take it away, prolly. Maybe a Muggle. Wouldn't that be brilliant? I bet the baby would like that, being a Muggle. I wish I could be a Muggle sometimes." 

"Er, do you?" Arthur said hesitantly. "Teddy, lad, is it maybe that you're a little afraid of this new baby? The one that's coming to live with you?" 

"Afraid? Me?" Teddy laughed raucously, throwing his hands out and nearly losing the entire Muggle contraption he was holding. "I'm not afraid of any baby, Grandda! They're stupid and they're 'nnoying, but they can't hurt me." 

"They can make Harry and Draco have not quite as much time to play with you, Teddy," Arthur said, softly and seriously. "Just like right now, right?" 

"What d'you mean, Grandda?" Teddy frowned. "I quite like spending time with you. Draco and Harry told me I was lucky. 'Cause I have a Grandda and they didn't, neither of them. They was un-unfor—" Teddy scowled, dragging the depths of his memory. "Un. For. Tuun. Ate, that's what! But I'm not. I have you!"

"Teddy," Arthur replied, flushing with pleasure in the knowledge of how much he was appreciated by his two adoptive sons. "Teddy, Harry doesn't feel well right now, alright? He has to go see Healer every day. And your Grandmum Andy and Cousin Draco have their hands full, taking care of him until he feels better. So, me and Molly-Granny, Ron and Hermione, your Grand-Auntie Narcissa and lots of other people who care for you and Draco and Harry are all helping them out right now, so that you don't feel alone or unhappy while Harry's recovering. He needs to be very quiet and comfy so that he and the baby are safe and well. But Harry and Draco are your dads just as much as they are the new baby's, okay? Do you understand what I am saying, little man? Even when the baby comes, you will still be just as much loved and cared for as you ever were—maybe more so, even. After all, you'll be the baby's honorary big brother. Just as my little Vicky-poppet is baby Dominique's big sister." 

"So?" Teddy pursed his lips, looking mutinous. "What's the big deal about that?" 

"It's a very important job, Ted, being a Big Brother or Sister," Arthur replied, plucking away the overwound fishing reel and gathering Teddy into his lap. "It's the most important job there ever was, other than being a daddy or a mummy."

Teddy sniffed, humping a thin little shoulder. "Huh. Victoire doesn't think so, Grandda. She thinks her little sister's a great big bother." 

"Are you certain, Ted?" Because I don't think I agree with you there and neither does Molly-granny." 

"Huh," Teddy said again, tucking his small nose into Arthur's worn and nubbly orange jersey and roundly ignoring Arthur's warning tone. He didn't feel much like being scolded, 'specially when he'd just given his Grandda Arthur a—what was it called again? Oh! A 'compliment'. "M'sleepy, Grandda, I don' wanna talk anymore. When's Harry going to come and get me? I want to go home to my bed." 

"Not for a little while yet, Ted," Arthur said gently, settling the boy more securely as he rose. An expert snap of his fingers had all the Mugglish thingamabobs and fidgets they'd been fiddling with for amusement end their antics and settle back into their various boxes and crates. "Harry's seeing Healer Chang again this afternoon so you'll be supping with us this evening. P'raps a little lie-down in the meantime? You may sleep in Uncle Ron's old bed as a special treat, if you like." 

''Kay," Teddy nodded floppily and was fast asleep before Arthur had the shop door warded behind them. 

"Those poor boys," Arthur murmured to his wife over a quiet afternoon cuppa, once their adoptive grandchild was settled into the communal kid's nursery to which Ron's old room had been converted, blaring orange Cannons banners intact. "That wee Ted's a handful and this all cannot be easy on Harry. Or Draco, for that matter. Have you seen him? Pale as a ghost, he is. Looks like he did when they lost the first one. Tsk!" 

"Now, now, ducks," Molly said comfortably, edging the ginger biscuits closer to her beloved husband. "Healer Katie Chang is the best in her specialty; she'll have Harry set to rights in no time. And no one ever said being a parent of multiples was easy-peasy, pudding-and-pie. They're just getting a taste of sibling rivalry a little sooner than anyone expected, is all." 

"Sibling rivalry, love?" Arthur asked his wife innocently. "What's that, then?" 

"Something our terribly smart daughter-in-law Hermione informs me we had in our house all along, soon as Charlie was born," Molly replied grimly, stirring another cube of sugar into her tea with determination. 

"Fancy that," Arthur mused. "Sounds a bit like Wrackspurts, really." 

"I dare say it does, love," Molly sniffed. "I'm sure _ I've _ never knowingly allowed it, no matter what Hermione may say." 

"Of course not, dear," Arthur nodded happily. "I'm certain I'd have noticed." 

**Match #4 Narcissa Versus Teddy**

"Theodore, what _ exactly _are you doing to my roses?" 

"Heading 'em, Granny Cissy," Teddy told her confidently, wielding a pair of magical shears much too large for his small hands. "You said you _ head 'em off _to make 'em grow bigger, right? I told Victoire she ought to try that with Dommy cause Dommy's too small to play and pretty useless, but she said I was silly and oughtn't. So 'M helping you instead. Alright?" 

"Oh my," Narcissa said, nonplussed. She regarded the sea of ragged clippings, the wilting blooms, the trampled beds in her rose bower and sighed. "Is that what this is all about? The baby again, Theodore?" 

"What baby?" Teddy asked innocently, giving one particularly fragrant flower an especially vicious snap of the shears. "I don't see a baby here, Granny Cissy." 

"Come here, please, and give me those, darling," Narcissa directed, removing the pruners from Ted's clingy fingers. She cast a quick _ Scourgify _upon him and only spared a passing despairing glance at the ruins of her rose garden. "It's past time for us two to have a little chat, I think. This has gone on quite long enough, Theodore." 

"What has, Granny Cissy?" 

"You, darling," Narcissa replied airily, taking up Teddy's clean paw and leading him out of the gardens. "And your unreasoning dislike of infants. You know you were one, once?"

"Was I? Ick!" Teddy made a face, expressing his discontentment. "Babies are nasty. I don't want to be one." 

"Well, you aren't anymore, obviously," Narcissa smiled, leading the way to a small pavilion, where the Malfoy house-elves had set up elevensies. "Here's your milk-tea, dear, all ready for you. Of course," she went on airily, as though it made no matter, "we all adored you as a baby, little man. I know your Granny Andy and Harry and Draco did especially." 

"They did? But why? Babies smell. And they're loud. And fussy all the time." Teddy tucked into the biscuits and tiny crumpets the elves had left for them, crumbs scattering heedlessly. "Rosie cries a lot, you know, and Auntie Herminny can't take me out as often because she's always making that horrid noise." 

"That's what infants do, Theodore darling," Narcissa replied calmly, helping herself to an iced fairy cake. "They must, or they would go hungry and have messy nappies. You did when you were very small." 

"Did I sick up on you?" Teddy asked curiously, slurping his milk-tea and giving himself a mustachio. He swiped it off with the back of his hand, ignoring the serviette Narcissa handed over the table. "Harry said I sicked up a lot. And burped, and made poos." 

"You did indeed, Theodore, but you also smiled and chuckled all the time and made lovely, lovely sounds, some of the best I've ever heard." Narcissa cocked her pale blonde head, lost in memory. "Not since my darling Draco was an infant, in fact. You were such a happy little one; you even blew bubbles, from your pablum, and it was so sweet to see the expression of surprise and delight on your little face—just as my Draco did as a baby. The exact same expression, Theodore, and it made my heart warm to see it. Indeed, I adored every opportunity I was given to visit your Granny Andy's house or Harry and Draco's old flat and help mind you, you know? Such a delight you were to me, love; you've no idea." 

"…Oh." Teddy stared, his eyes going wide and Draco-grey, his hair subtly shifting from his usual light-blue all the way to a brilliantly accurate mimicking of the Malfoy trademark hue. "But. Is that why you don't hate them? Because of _ me_?" 

"Oh, I never 'hated' them, Theodore," Narcissa replied. "Make no mistake there. In fact, I rather wished I could have more of them to love. That's just one of the reasons I am so glad Harry and my son will be having one of their own soon." 

"Their own?" Teddy questioned instantly, his little face a chubby version of eleven-year-old-Draco-Malfoy-in-a-strop. "But I'm 'their own', Granny Cissy! They shouldn't need any more babies than me!" 

"But, Theodore, darling," Narcissa twinkled, "you're not a baby anymore, are you? You're quite the little man now, all grown up and capable of helping me with the roses, are you not? As soon as I teach you the proper way to deadhead roses, that is," she added hastily when Teddy's eyes squinted, visions of an approved rampage through the Malfoy manor hedges dancing before his mind's eye. "Ahem! Obviously there's a gap in our lives where a new baby is needed. Don't you agree?"

"I—but, I—?" Teddy's face became a shade less thunderously tetchy. He blinked at her kindly impassive expression. "I'm a _ grown up _now? Me?" 

"Nearly so, darling," he was assured, so confidently he rather completely missed the sly twinkle in his grandaunt's pale blue eyes. "In a manner of speaking, yes. Your Grandda Arthur Weasley did mention you'll have a special job now, being a Big Brother, did he not? Only 'grown up' children are allowed to do that, you know. It requires a great deal of kindness and attention. Your Granny Andy can teach you all about how to manage it, I'm sure."

**Match #5 Harry-and-Draco Versus Teddy **

"Hullo, little man," Harry smiled feebly, barely lifting his head from the pillows he lay against. "How are you this morning? Ready for Draco's famous waffles?" 

"Don't care about any old stupid waffles! I miss you, Harry," Teddy whined, ignoring Draco's shooing motions entirely and clambering upon Harry and Draco's bed. "You're never playing with me anymore and I hate it. When will you be better already? It's booooring, always having to go somewhere else. I want to stay here with you! And Draco, like we used to!" 

"Oh, darling," Harry sighed, reaching out a pale hand. "Come here and cuddle with me a while, will you? I've missed you too, Ted; so much so! And I hate being ill but it's not going to last forever—"

"We hope!" Draco cut in sharply, rocking back on his heels at the end of the bed and folding his arms across his chest with decided sniff. "Healer Chang had better be right about that, Harry!" 

"Oh, she is, doubting Draco." Harry summoned a grin, wrapping his little godson into his arms as much as he was able from a prone position. "Just there, little man, like that, you see. That way my tummy isn't jostled and we can all be comfortable. Are you comfortable, Ted?" 

Teddy hummed and didn't reply, but clung to his godfather, little fingers clutching at Harry's pyjama's front buttons and twisting at them, fidgeting. 

"I'm hearing that you aren't very happy about the baby, Teddy. Is that true?" Harry asked of him softly. "If it is, I'm a little sad to know it." 

"Meh," Teddy mumbled, burying his face completely in Harry's armpit. "Hate babies. Babies are nasty, even smiley ones." 

"And why are they so 'nasty', Theodore Lupin?" Draco asked, coming to sit on the end of the bed. He reached out a long arm and smoothed his little cousin's hair down, stroking softly. "Because Harry and I don't think they are. And we have some experience with them, don't we?" He chuckled when Teddy squirmed under his fingertips and exchanged a knowing glance with his husband. "You, for instance, darling. You were a perfectly top-notch infant, as I recall. Very seldom fussy and slept through the night nearly from the beginning. We were terribly proud of you, just for that, you know." 

"Nah," Teddy mumbled into Harry's chest. "That was nothing; I do that all the time now. Granny Andy says I'm a good little sleeper. Better than even my Mum was." 

"Well, I don't know about your Mum, Teddy," Harry remarked, "having not really met her until we were both much older. But, I do know your Cousin Draco here still isn't very good at it."

"Bosh, Harry," Draco laughed, waving that off. "I'm only up at night because you are. Hopefully Healer will finish brewing your special potion very soon and we'll all be able to sleep at night." 

"Hmm." Harry glanced down at his young godson, who had heaved a huge sigh while Draco was speaking and slid peacefully into Nod. "Speaking of sleeping, yeah? Look at him."

"Ah, out like a _ Nox_," Draco observed the boy, nodding wisely. "Aunt Andy did mention he's been restless at night recently. Fretting, I'm sure. Well, I suppose he's not too old yet for a little morning kip, is he? I'll just take him off to his own bed now; let you rest a while longer, Harry." 

"No, no." Harry settled an arm more comfortably about his small burden. He glanced up, his eyes wide and pleading, looking very like a child himself without his spectacles. "Let him stay, love? I'm only going to be dozing anyway. I miss him, you know, climbing in with us. Our baby Teddy's nearly all grown up now. He'll not be wanting to cuddle like this for much longer." 

"You're sure, Harry? You're not uncomfortable, darling?" Draco asked anxiously, standing up and fussing about with the duvet and the array of bolsters, slipping Teddy's shoes off has he went. His sharp grey eyes furtively tracked the tired lines on his husband's face though his demeanor lightened when Harry smiled. "No? Alright, then, I'll set the _I-See_ Spell and be just downstairs in my study. Aunt Andy's not due till after luncheon anyway so there's no rush to wake him—nor you. She's on the early shift at St Mungo's this week." 

"Mmm, that so?" Harry asked desultorily, his eyelids growing visibly heavy. He burrowed his face into one of Draco's pillows, sighing, "Amazing Witch, 'Dromeda is. Dunno how she manages it, really." 

"Very amazing!" Draco replied super-heartily, caught up in retreating, though he paused by the door on his way out to satisfy himself his charges were as coddled as could possibly be. "Don't have the foggiest how we'd ever manage without her, Harry." He waved his wand tip, skimming the curtains drawn and blinds down. "Now sleep, love. Sleep when the children sleep, as the adage goes." 

**Match #6 Andromeda Versus Teddy**

"Teddy, my sweet boy, are you ready for your bath? Those Wheezes bubbles your Uncle George Owled you are already put in. It's a quite lovely sight; very fancy." 

"Yes!" Teddy shouted, thundering up the steps of his Granny Andy's little cottage. "Will you play with me, Granny Andy?" 

"Of course I will, dear." Andromeda followed him more slowly up the steps, arriving at the short corridor that led to the lav, her bedroom, Teddy's room (which had been his Mum's old room when she was a child) and a small room Andromeda used as a home office. Her Healer's potions laboratory was located in a much larger Wizarding space in the basement, very carefully warded to keep small curious folk well away and catty-corner to the Charmed indoor play area she, Draco, Harry and Hermione had devised when Teddy had turned into a toddler and become much more active. "Strip down now and hand me your clothes, will you? I'll put them in the hamper."

A great splashing sound emanated from the lav as Teddy bounced in and began batting about the huge rainbow magic bubbles. Andromeda came and sat by the claw-footed tub, engaging in battle when Teddy demanded it and exhorting him now and again to wash between his little toes. Eventually Teddy sat back, having consented to having his currently seal-dark hair washed and rinsed, and looked up at his grandmother thoughtfully, rubbing at his little nose to dry it. 

"Granny, do you think Mum and Dad would've wanted more babies?" 

"I do, Ted," Andromeda replied warmly, leaning into to give the freshly scrubbed curls a tousle. "They were afraid of the War, of course, but they loved you so much. They would have wanted more babies to love. And so would I." 

"You would?" Teddy opened his Harry-green eyes very wide. "Why?" 

"Because I can love them and take good care of them, Ted, just as I do with you. Just as Harry and Draco do." 

"Huh," Teddy wrinkled his nose in confusion and drew up his knees so he could clasp them. The last of the Wheezes bubbles finally collapsed in a shower of magical rainbow bath salts but both the adult and child ignored the resulting fizz of the bath water. "Granny, does your happy get bigger magically when you have another baby? Tante Fleur said it was her heart that did but Uncle Bill said it was your _ happy. _ Your _ inside _happy." 

"Oh, I think it must do," Andromeda replied, eyes twinkling. "I don't see how your Grandda Arthur and Granny-Molly would've coped, otherwise. And they are very, very happy, aren't they?" 

"Yes, I s'pose." Teddy stood up carefully, taking his grandmother's hand as she helped him out. He wrapped the bath sheet he was given about him, still frowning slightly. "They're all big, though. The Weasleys. They _ have _ to rub along. Molly-granny says so. 'Enough of that nonsense!' she says, and even Uncle George and Uncle Percy have to listen to her." 

"I don't know for certain that they have, always, Teddy, but yes, they do now." Andromeda smiled, tapping her forefinger against her dimpled chin. "It's pretty normal for kids to bicker and tease each other, now and again. It's how you learn to rub along later. Practice, you see. Then you'll know what to do with people who aren't your family, such as at Hogwarts. Victoire is lucky to have Dominique to learn with as they both grow. And you as well, dear one. You've always been so good with Vicky even though she's a little younger than you." She smiled at Teddy very fondly; he thought she looked extra-super-loving of him. But he shrugged nonetheless.

"Victoire's speshul,' he informed her firmly, scrubbing at his hair. It was slowly returning to its normal teal, and his eyes were changing over to his Mum's colour as the Morph faded. Andromeda smirked knowingly above his head, reaching round to help him with the tie belt of his dressing gown. "She's never been a stinky, useless baby, not like Dommy and Rosie. _ And _ Molly Jr. Ugh!" 

"Indeed. She has, but you likely don't recall, darling," Andromeda said firmly, spelling his hair combed neatly. She caught at his hand, cursorily examining his fingernails for any lingering grubbiness. "You'll do nicely, Ted; well done in your bath. Come, shall we have our evening cuppa before you clean your teeth?"

"Alright." Teddy said, as they left the lavatory. He bounced slightly as they walked together but not enough to induce his grandmother to scold him. "Granny, will I be going to Harry-and-Draco's tomorrow or shall I be here, with you?" 

"I've St Mungo's tomorrow, love. But, here's the lovely bit, you'll be seeing Victoire tomorrow, remember?" Andromeda replied. "Draco will come and escort you, Side-Along. P'raps you can discuss the topic of babies more with Victoire when you visit?" 

"Smashing!" Teddy whooped, having himself an excited little hop. A thought struck him and he stopped in his tracks, tugging his grandmother to a halt beside him. "But—But, Granny! Mayn't Harry come Side-Along me? He promised me he would feel better and be able to play again, Granny. He even said that yesterday—and the day before that. But…he's not. Harry's still sick in the belly."

"Yes, he is, darling." Andromeda smoothed his blue curls down with her free hand. "We just simply must be patient, that's all." 

"Huh! Draco's not! Draco's not a'tall happy with Healer." Teddy scoffed and scowled and elevated his snub nose, very much in a manner reminiscent of his elder Malfoy cousin. "He and Harry were shouting about it."

"Were they," Andromeda said flatly, in a tone that didn't encourage further discussion of any shouting. 

"…Yes," Teddy peeped up at her. "They each used Bad Words; I heard them very clearly! I was _ supposed _ to be sleeping but—"

"Indeed, Theodore. 'Supposed to be', was it? Then perhaps we shall leave Harry and Draco's business to Harry and Draco, Teddy? Come along now; look lively."

Andromeda thinned her lips and said nothing further, briskly leading the way down the stairs and back to the cottage's roomy kitchen. Teddy risked a glance at her stern visage and shrugged a hapless little shoulder as he bent over his little mug, philosophically abandoning the topic. 

Sometimes grown-ups could get absurdly tetchy over certain things and it was pretty clear to Teddy this was one of them, at least as far as Granny Andy was concerned. He wasn't certain as to quite why that was, as Harry and Draco were always very good at what they called 'being honest with Teddy', but Granny Andy was _ not _ always the same as Harry and Draco, quite decidedly. 

**Match #7 Victoire Versus Teddy**

"She is alright," Victoire stated grandly, pointing a finger at her little sister. The baby was secured in a small playpen Tante Fleur had Charmed out of a few pieces of sea-polished driftwood and seemed remarkably happy as she played with her tiny pail and shovel. Now and again Tante Fleur or Uncle Bill would reach over and prevent Dommie from actually eating the sand she was spooning up. "I do not hate her." 

"Oh." Teddy regarded his dearest friend across the ramparts of the castle they were building. "That's…different. That's not what you said last time." 

"I did hate her last time," Victoire allowed, slapping wet sand to build up the central keep a little higher. She had the tip of her little pink tongue stuck out and was scowling, the way she always did when she was concentrating. Teddy nodded slowly. 

"…Why?" 

"She is my leetle sister," Victoire replied, cocking her small blonde head to regard her handiwork. "It is not the same." 

"Why not?" Teddy asked curiously, and began to work furiously upon the fourth and final tower of their mostly rectangular battlement. Uncle Bill had taught him and Victoire a small harmless Charm to keep the wet sand and pebble mixture from crumbling straight away and he applied it, whispering under his breath. "She's still a bother. Just because she's not blubbing now doesn't mean she shan't." 

"I do not mind at all if she cries," Victoire stated grandly, pressing yet more pebbles into the base of her tower. It was taking shape nicely, better even than Teddy's, a fact he noted but was contrarily proud of. His friend Victoire had always been good with her little hands and her making charms. That was just one of the reasons he loved her. "Shift over, s'il vous plait. I will tidy up for you, Teddy. It is tippy." 

"Alright," Teddy said amiably, already squirming out of her way. "Give it a go then."

"Merci, mon ami." 

They each scuffled about on their sandy knees, minding the rising lap of the sea, and exchanged places. The sea foam tickled their toes in passing. It was warm outside on the beach with the sun beating down on them. Teddy cast a mildly longing glance over at his auntie and uncle, perfectly comfortable lounging under the shade of the huge beach brolly his uncle had Unshrunk earlier and erected. He knew that in a while there would be offers of lemon squash and biscuits and that he and Victoire would be invited to rest before bath-and-supper.

Draco had told Teddy when he Side-Alonged him from Granny-Andy's house to Shell Cottage earlier that morning that Harry still wasn't one hundred percent but that the Healer had come by with the needed Potion at last and he was no longer sicking up, but only just sleepy. As Granny-Andy's shift had rotated from mornings to evenings this week at St Mungo's and Draco was busy watching over a sleeping Harry one last day, Teddy was to stay over at Victoire's home until the following afternoon. He'd sported a very odd expression on his face when he told Teddy this and had hugged him extra hard before he Apparated away from Shell Cottage. 

Teddy had been secretly very happy to hear all of this exciting news. Firstly, he was to spend an extra-long time with his very best friend in all the world. Two, Harry was feeling better at last. No more stupid _ patience_. Three, Draco was smiling a lot and seemed super-extra cheery, and that made the insides of Teddy feel very happy, just as Uncle Bill had spoken of, before. He suspected the insides of Draco were just as happy as Teddy's were…even though, problematically, at least in Teddy's mind, the insides of Harry still featured a baby. Stinky, smelly, loud, needy, always-wanting-attention baby.

"Victoire," he asked, after a few minutes mulling it all over, every skein of the tangled web needing sorting out, "do you love Dominique now? Since you don't hate her crying?" 

"Leetle bit," Victoire replied, making a tiny pinching motion with her sandy fingers. "She's mine, oui? Maman says I will be her instructrice and help Maman and Papa. As they did when they were leetle. With the—the b-babies!" 

She giggled suddenly, pressing her hand over her mouth, her eyes sparkling, and then went off into peals of laughter, plopping back flat upon the beach and flinging her arms heedlessly wide.

"Victoire?" She startled Teddy no end; besides, her sudden flail nearly knocked down his tower! He scowled, getting to his feet and standing protectively over their castle. "Victoire! What's so funny? Why're you laughing? Are you laughing at _ me _?" 

"Non, non, non! Bébés, tous nos oncles et tantes!" 

"What?" Teddy was more than a little puzzled and not liking it much at all. He glared, eyes stony grey and hair gone white-blond as Draco's. "Victoire, stop it! What're you even going on about? Don't tease me!" 

"Oh, pardon!" Victoire ceased the last of her giggles instantly, popping up to her feet and darting over to give Teddy a tight, fast embrace. "I am not! I was only laughing at the pictures." She drew back and looked at him seriously, her lower lip quivering, and Teddy recalled all at once that she was younger than he and maybe just a little silly sometimes. "Mamie Molly, she has pictures of Papa where he is like me—a child, n'est pas? Very small. Harry, too, Teddy! You must ask her to see them next time—promise you will?"

"Al-alright," Teddy stuttered, and nodded very seriously at his friend. "I promise." He would do his best to remember, and not just for her sake, but also his own. These pictures she'd seen, they must be very funny, very inside-happy making, and he would absolutely be asking Granny-Molly to see them. Granny Andy also, because _ Mum_. "But?"

Victoire raised her very blonde eyebrows at him inquisitively. 

"But, what does that have to with you liking babies _ now, _Victoire?" 

"Oh, Teddy, I am sorry." Victoire looked instantly contrite. "It's as Maman said. _ We _were babies, a long, long time ago, like Dominique. But we will both of us be big and old soon, like Papa and Maman and Grand-père, so we have to be nice to the babies. Because we were little like them and they will be big like us, comprenez vous? Do you understand?" She wafted her sandy hands eloquently. "We are all the same, oui?" 

"Oooooh." Teddy tried his best, truly he did. "Ummmmm." Usually he and Victoire managed to communicate clear as any _ Sonorus_, make no mistake, but this babble of everyone being babies and grown-ups at the same time was just plain ridiculous. Made him cross-eyed, thinking on it. "No. No, I don't." He shrugged, feeling a little sad, somehow, and bit his lip. "Sorry, Victoire." 

"It's alright, ce n'est rien," she shrugged back, and turned her attention to the castle. "Oh, look, Teddy! The tide, Teddy; the tide, it has come in! Notre pauvre château!" 

"Oh, no!" Teddy burst out laughing, just as loud as his friend had, watching the rush of water assaulted their castle's outer rampart. "Never mind our castle!" At any moment it would succumb altogether and be swamped entirely by the onrushing sea. "Run for it, Victoire! Run, run!" 

Laughing and dancing through the tickle of the foaming seawater, dodging tumbling shells and pebbles, they scampered up the beach to where Victoire's very grown-up Papa had stood up and was clearly awaiting them. 

"Oh, good show!" Uncle Bill praised them, looking proud as could be as he scooped them up, one in each arm. "You came up on your own, and here I was just about to come collect you."

"Ah, but they are both very Big now, Bill," Tante Fleur said, coming to stand beside Uncle Bill and giving them each kisses on their flushed, salt-bloomed cheeks. "Though I think we shall let them be Leetle for a while longer still. Don't you?"

Uncle Bill was quite agreeable and commenced to tickling them both madly to show his understanding of the matter. Tante Fleur went back to the rug to set out the tea. And then it was all lemon-squash and coconut biscuits time and even Dominique woke up from her nap and amused them all by blowing milk bubbles and flinging her teaspoon for fetching.

**Match #8 Draco Versus Teddy (****_and_ ** ** Harry, again, ** ** _and_ ** ** for the Win!)**

"Harry is still sleeping?" Teddy whinged crankily as Draco set a beaker of warmed cocoa before him and ruffled his rumpled hair off his furrowed forehead in passing. "You said he'd be all better today!" 

"Well, Teddy, it's like this," Draco said calmly, coming to sit with Teddy at the kitchen table. "Nothing's ever simple with our Potter, you see." The sconces had all been dimmed down as it was evening and nearing Teddy's bedtime. Teddy settled into his seat; this sounded as though it might be a story. "When Harry was very small, like you, and even younger still, the people he stayed with were very mean to him." Draco grimaced, his grey eyes sparking reflected fire from the hearth-light. "They didn't ever give him quite enough to eat, for one. And they made him stay in a tiny cupboard, so he never slept well, nor enough, not for a growing child." 

"That's horrid!" Teddy was so appalled he thumped his mug down hard upon the table, splashing out his chocolate everywhere. "They're crime-nalls, Draco! Did the Aurors put them in Azkaban?" 

"No, though I dearly wish they had," Draco replied grimly, his face very stern indeed. "It would serve them right, for they did to Harry. But it was worse than even that, Teddy." 

"How? How could it be worse than _ no food_?" Teddy demanded, his cocoa completely forgotten, his teal-blue eyes gone a dark, dark jade and entirely focussed on his elder cousin. "Those people are bad, Draco, like—like the baddest of bad, nasty, evil crime-nalls Harry's ever captured!" 

"Yes, I agree," Draco agreed with a snap of his teeth, his eyes narrowed, "but what was worse for Harry—and for me and you as well, Teddy, is that when Harry became pregnant again—"

"Gonna have a baby, that means," Teddy interrupted, nodding wisely. "Granny told me." 

"Yes, that," Draco nodded. "When he did, his insides didn't have quite all the ingredients needed to make his body a safe and healthy place for the baby to grow. He was about to lose the foetus and it was making him very, very ill indeed." 

"They didn't?" Teddy was fascinated by the thought of his own godfather, just walking around all this time with invisible parts he needed on his insides simply not being there. "What was missing, Draco?" 

"They're called 'nutrients', Teddy," Draco replied seriously, setting down his own mug and gesturing his wand at the air. Instantly it was filled with brilliantly sketched images of various fruits and meats, puddings and beverages, even—oddly—a little bed, all of which faded away nearly as soon as they'd been called into existence. "Food, things to drink. Sleep, to process what's in those foods and drinks. What a body needs to make a healthy child—or to feel happy at all. And those very nasty people kept them from him, out of spite." He set his wand down sharply, ending the spell. "I'm not certain exactly what Harry was missing, Teddy, but Healer Chang was able to sort it and brew a special potion to reverse persistent childhood malnourishment. Healer said it is similar to SkeleGro. Harry was given it yesterday. He's spent all night and day sleeping it off, recuperating."

"And—and Harry will be alright?" Teddy demanded, reaching his little hands out to grab at Draco's much larger ones. "He won't die or b-be sick or anything? And the baby—what about the baby, Draco? Are we—is _ Harry _going to have our baby still?" 

"Oh, Ted!" 

Draco wrapped his hands warmly about Teddy's smaller ones and smiled softly at him, all the ice and anger fading as quickly as the charmed images of the foodstuffs. Teddy felt ever so much better when Draco's super-happy smile bloomed again, and he found he really had to return it in kind, it was so infectious. 

"It's okay, isn't it?" he said. "Right, Draco?" 

"Spot on, Teddy. Harry was very ill but he will be fine now. Hopefully, this time 'round at least, the child will thrive and you'll have your own baby to play with and care for in just a few months. Just as Victoire does." 

"Oh!" Teddy exclaimed, struck by the thought and quite pleased. "I'll like that! Thanks, Draco! That's topping news!" 

"You're so very welcome, Teddy; you don't even _ know_." 

Draco laughed, louder than usual, though to Teddy's ears it sounded as if he'd started off by first choking or coughing, just a little. It was a funny sound to hear from Draco, so Teddy smiled. But just to himself.

"Now, do listen to me." Draco put on his Very Best Behaviour face and regarded Teddy with great gravity, all traces of laughter vanished. "This is the very serious bit, alright? We will still have to be very careful with Harry and not ask him to ride a broom or romp too hard in the yard. We will also be responsible for some of his part in all that's needed to be done, keeping the household in working order. Which means I'll be teaching you a few new small spells, and likely so will all your other relatives. Aunt Andy is very excited that you're ready for this, Teddy." 

"Aces!" Teddy practically leapt out of his seat with excitement. "That's brilliant! Does that mean I can have that practice wand you and Harry talked about, Draco? Uncle George said it was rated for me. I am five, you know?" He thrust his chin out and regarded Draco just as sternly as Draco had regarded him. "Five is very old. Five is Big, Draco."

"Erm, maybe." Draco blinked at him, seeming surprised by Teddy's totally reasonable assertion. "We'll see about that, love. So…you're no longer upset about the baby, Teddy? You don't hate the thought or believe that they'll be a stinky, nasty monster?" 

"Oh, no," Teddy said airily, waving off the notion as utterly absurd. Big Brothers weren't bothered a bit by babies; he and Victoire both knew that already—ages ago, in fact. "I'm going to love them. 'Cause they'll be mine and I'll be big and my inside-happy will get bigger too. You'll see, Draco. Though I s'pect you know that already?" 

"Um, yes?" Draco agreed, with very little hesitation. "I likely do." Teddy thought maybe he'd had to have a fast Think, just to make sense of it all. Just as Teddy had. Well, several. "That's pretty much the gist of it all, yes. I'm glad you understand what's happening so well, darling. Have I mentioned just how much Harry and I love you—how pleased and proud we are of you? It's not so easy to be so accepting, Teddy, and you've done a bang-up job of it. I know I'd've had a much more difficult time of it, at your age." 

Draco was blinking hard, Teddy noticed. A little as Teddy himself did, when he was considering having himself a decent cry. Draco always said he should do, if he wanted, as it might make him feel better. But there were some limits, depending. 

He wondered if Draco was concerned about _ limits_. 

"Are you alright, Draco?" Feeling very generous, he bounced up, coming round the table to climb up and make a seat for himself in Draco's lap. Draco, naturally, allowed him. "You can use my hanky if you want to. Tante Fleur gave me a new one. My old one is a castle flag now—or it was. Till the sea came in." 

"Thank you, darling, but that's alright. I really don't need one right now; I'm quite happy, you see. There's much to be happy about," Draco said, and he seemed to be actually laughing softly again and it wasn't as snuffly as it had been before, the chuckle. The sound of it made Teddy's insides feel warm and tingly and it seemed as though he could feel himself grow. Bigger and older, like Victoire was. "You're the best Teddy ever," Draco went on, giving Teddy a squeeze, "and we are so fortunate to have you." 

"Hey…um-um-um?" After a moment or two of cuddling, it came to Teddy, the thing he'd promised his best friend he would do. "May I see your baby pictures, Draco? After I have my bath, instead of my story?" 

"Of course you may, love," Harry's voice came warm and soft as he entered the kitchen. "A few of mine, too, thanks to Hagrid, and at least a couple from when I was a little kid, courtesy your Granda Arthur and Granny-Molly, who were kind enough to include me over the years. Tell me, how was your visit with Vicky and her family? How's baby Dominique?" 

"Harry! Harry, Harry, Harry, you're all better! You're here, in our kitchen—you're not in bed anymore!" 

Teddy shrieked and tumbled right out of Draco's lap, flinging himself across the kitchen tile in a mad rush, socks slipping and slapping. 

"Teddy, watch out!" Draco yelled, jumping up. "The baby!"

"Whooops!" Teddy yelped, hearing just in time and screeching to a dead halt. "No! Must remember! Harry, I can't do that, I can't crash you anymore—I'm sorry, Harry! I nearly did!" 

"Wait, what?" Harry frowned in confusion and continued forward, nearly up to where Teddy was standing, jittering from one foot to the other. He reached out welcoming arms to his godson. "Can't do what, Ted? Why wouldn't you hug me? You've just got home!" 

"Hurt your belly, is what!" Teddy snorted fiercely and stomped his foot, rolling his eyes at Harry's not understanding. "Like Draco said, Harry! With _ crashing_. Like we always did, playing pretend Q'wich brooms when I was just little, before?"

"Crashing?" Harry echoed faintly. 

"Yes! It smarted, sometimes." Teddy wrinkled his nose, recalling. "I didn't mind it but _ you _ would, Harry. That would be bad, like a crime-nall. Me, hurting your insides. 'Cause they need to be happy and healthy and nutriented, with fruits and puddings and beds and everything. Because of our _ baby_."

Teddy stared at Harry, who was goggling at him blankly, and rolled his eyes again, so hard he could almost hear them spinning in his head. Some people were Very Old. Even Harry, sometimes. Sad, but true.

"Eh, what?"

Teddy sighed, finding that he was edging forward toward one of his favourite people in all the world, even if he—Harry—was being dead slow on the uptake.

"But you may hug _ me_, Harry," he allowed, as Harry was already knelt down by Teddy and actually very much doing so, the hugging-squeezing part. Teddy instantly decided his hair should be Harry-black. "I missed you," he mumbled and maybe leaked a few bits of eye-wet onto Harry's dark green pajamas. He sniffed, gamely swallowing down the rest. "A lot. You know?"

"I do," Harry said deeply, like a promise. "Oh!" Teddy felt and heard the tall rustle of his cousin Draco coming up behind them, crouching down on his haunches on the kitchen tile just as he and Harry were situated. "Hullo, love. You, too?" 

"Me, too," Draco said in his Upon-My-Honour-As-A-Malfoy voice, and stretched his longer arms around the both of them, snugging them into his elegantly lanky warmth. "For all of it. _ A lot_."

"You're silly!"

"Oh, am I now?" Draco drawled, and gave Teddy a little rib-tickle. "Hmm, let's see. How long has it been since I counted these? Surely there's more now that you're so big, Teddy-boy." 

"No, no, no!"

Teddy giggled in delight, because he was literally inside-happy_ two _ ways at the moment, and he'd have to tell Harry and Draco how clever _ that _ was, but likely after his bath and during the looking-at-baby-pictures time because he was already yawning widely. Draco must've known that and stopped tickling his ribs, giving them a fond pat instead. Teddy yawned again, considering. P'raps he should have a little sleep and tell Draco to make Harry go back to bed, too? Pictures could keep until morning. 

They'd both laugh, he knew, when he did tell them. At his inside-_ inside _ happy joke. And everybody would prolly be a little Bigger, all 'round, by morning-time. Even the baby…which would be _Teddy's _baby, when they came, like Dommie was Victoire's. 

It was only fair, really. Victoire shouldn't have all the fun. 'Sides, Teddy was all prepped to be a really top-notch Big Brother now, and—just the same as Harry said when Teddy did something truly daring—the world itself had better belt up and be ready for Teddy!

  


**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the [H/D Tropes Exchange Fest 2019,](http://www.hdtropes.tumblr.com) posting August & September 2019! Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it!


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